8.02.2003

...All good things...

Jen: Because I didn't want you to be worried. I was already worrying enough. Because I thought that if I pretended it didn't exist, it would just go away. Because I like it. I like our... patented, meaningless fag-hag banter, and 'cause I was scared if I said it out loud, it would be true, because I was just-- I was just scared. 'Cause I was an idiot.


Jen: Hi, Amy, it's mom. Well, by the time you see this, I won't be here anymore, and I know how much that sucks, for both of us. So seeing as how I won't be around to thoroughly annoy you, I thought I would give you a little list of the things that I wish for you. Well, there's the obvious. An education. Family. Friends. And a life that is full of the unexpected. Be sure to make mistakes. Make a lot of them, because there's no better way to learn and to grow, all right? And, um, I want you to spend a lot of time at the ocean, because the ocean forces you to dream, and I insist that you, my girl, be a dreamer. God. I've never really believed in god. In fact, I've spent a lot of time and energy trying to disprove that god exists. But I hope that you are able to believe in god, because the thing that I've come to realize, sweetheart... is that it just doesn't matter if god exists or not. The important thing is for you to believe in something, because I promise you that that belief will keep you warm at night, and I want you to feel safe always. And then there's love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers, and when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase after it either. You just be patient, and it'll come to you, I promise, and when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest and the smartest and the most beautiful baby girl in the world. You don't be afraid, sweetheart. And remember, to love is to live.

Pacey: You're off the hook. I've never really put much faith in all that "if you love someone, set them free" crap, as evidenced by everything I've done in my life up to this very moment, but I am determined to be happy, Joey. Happy in this life. And I love you. I mean, I always-- I have always, always loved you. But our timing has just never been right. And the way I figure it, time is no man's friend. So I have to get right with that and be happy, now. Because this is it. I mean, this is all that we get. If there's one thing I've learned from losing Jen, that's what I've learned. Actually, um, hold on. I'm not done yet. Because I also want for you to be happy. It's really important for me that you be happy. So I want you to be with someone, whether it be Dawson or New York guy or some man that you haven't even met yet. But I want you to be with someone who can be a part of the life that you want for yourself. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel like I feel when I'm with you. So, I guess the point to this long run-on sentence that's been the last 10 years of our lives is just that the simple act of being in love with you is enough for me. So you're off the hook.

Joey: You know, for the record, I-- [Sniffles] I don't want to be let off the hook. Because everything in my life that I've done has led me here... right now, and the last thing I want, need, or deserve is to be let off somebody's hook. And don't miss mine point. Pacey... I love you. You know that. And it's very real. It's so real that it's kept me moving, mostly running from it, never ready for it. And I love Dawson. He's my soul mate. He's tied to my childhood, and it's a love that is pure and eternally innocent. I can't be let off the hook because I might just get the notion that it's ok to keep running.

Dawson: It's interesting how people use that expression-- life and death. As if to imply that life is the opposite of death, but birth is the opposite of death. Life... has no opposite

...Must come to an end.




E Dawson's Creek acabou. E pela terceira vez eu desmilingui de chorar, e me pego, novamente, pensando e repensando na vida. No verdadeiro significado da vida. Não na sobrevida que estamos acostumados. Naquela que absorvemos por osmose, por termos monstros interiores que nos impedem de enxergar à frente. Aquela que nos faz agirmos mecanicamente, que apenas nos mantém vivos fisicamente. Falo da vida no aspecto mais amplo que a palavra pode ter. O viver sem fronteiras, sem correntes, sem gaiolas. Nas conquistas internas, nas realizações, nas emoções. E, nesse longo, dolorido e delicioso processo, o que seríamos sem família, sem amigos, sem amor? Chegar ao final sem termos deixado nossa marca, sem termos plantado uma semente. Terá valido a pena?

Think about it.

Ou você vive. Ou não.

Porque a vida não tem oposto.

Sem comentários:

Enviar um comentário